“Staying in the FIGHT”

What we look for, we’ll find.

If we think we have to earn it, oh we will earn it.

I will be the first to say that I bought into the lie that things have to be hard. In the Army they stay “stay in the fight.” For a long time I did whatever it took to do just that- many times to my own detriment.

Then one day in 2016 I asked myself “Why does it always have to be a fight?”

Is this really the way life is meant to be lived?

Note: This is not about being in or out of the military. It is about the way we engage with the world and show up for our lives.

Whether it was a literal firefight, or some intense email traffic (undoubtedly with 6 people blind copied), we end up still dodging bullets long after the battle is over.

Our nerves are shot, it no longer feels safe enough to sit still for any length of time, and we plan our days like there’s no tomorrow.

For a few months now Ive been journaling about these themes as I pay attention to my own life and those of clients.

The following questions come to mind:

• Who am I without the fight?

• What is my need for an external “enemy?”

• How can I honor myself and what Ive experienced, but also move forward in my life?

• Deep down to I truly believe I deserve to have a good life?

• Am I showing up for myself in the way that I would like others to? (Sometimes we actually end up gaslighting and abandoning ourselves).

Sitting with these questions is the way out of the war that has become our lives. Its the way to cultivate self-compassion and heal the need to prove anything to ourselves or others- to take a deep breath and (if it’s accessible) lay our weapons down.

What we heal in ourselves we heal in our lineage (past and present), and ultimately for the collective. Not easy by any means, but so worth doing.