We all have our perspectives and world views based on life experiences, upbringing, inborn personality traits, body memories, nervous system patterns, etc.
All of these effect the way we interpret our lives- and the world as a whole.
Here is where it gets really interesting:
There are as many versions of us as people we’ve interacted with.
Everyone views us through their own lens, and it is impossible to change that- especially since we do it too.
In therapist language it’s called transference and countertransference, and is enough to give even the most seasoned therapist a headache at times.
So. What do we DO about this?
Maybe nothing- besides just being aware of it.
We can exhaust ourselves with image management (which is actually manipulation) only to find the end result is no more desirable than if we’d just sat there.
“People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.”
-Abraham Hicks
In some ways it’s actually liberating to do everything “perfect” (or atleast the best you can) and still be rejected.
The same way we cannot truly “go there” with others until we’ve explored the heights and depths of our own being- other people can only see and understand us to the extent that they’re willing or have the capacity for.
“People can only meet us as far as they have met themselves.”
-Matt Kahn
This doesn’t only apply to our shadow sides, although that is certainly true; if we have not been with our own pain and “darkness” then it’s guaranteed we will be uncomfortable with other people’s.
It also applies to the light.
If we aren’t connected to our own light, then we may feel threatened or blinded by the light in the external world- and thus unable to fully recieve it.
The same with innocence. If we’ve already tarred and feathered ourselves in the town square (of our hearts and minds) we will start to project that outward (onto others) when the pain becomes unbearable.
Relationships and life events so graciously act as a blank canvas for our projections; and because of this, what we look for we will usually find.
When I want to test this theory, I get up really early, work out, then journal under the glow of my infrared light.
I inevitably encounter the happiest, most brilliant and beautiful beings to ever walk the planet ALL DAY long.
It. Is. Wild.
Photo: Community garden in downtown Asheville, NC July 2021
Anatomy of an Awakening 