Where to go from here?
As discussed in the last entry, becoming aware of our “stuff” is super hard.
It can feel like we’ve got bullet holes in our chest and have been bleeding out for years, but are just now looking down.
Our ego may tell us we are the worst, and people around us may be echoing that as well. It is essential during these times that you learn how to access your own basic goodness, and not over-identify with others’ projections- empaths of the world, I see you!
If there’s ever a time to call in your higher guidance and set firm energetic (and maybe physical) boundaries, it is now. We cannot control how we’re viewed, and in these “rock bottom” moments, there’s enough to deal with without negative interference and distractions.
During challenging times, I think back to my Army days and the little pep talk one of the mental health case managers used to give to the team during stressful weeks:
“We do not go to the right or to the left. We stay straight.”
-Jay
As a veteran himself he knew the importance of being succinct, but it was just enough to keep everyone on track 🙌
Now, back to the actual thing: when healing trauma it is truly one day at a time.
I know that sounds boring, but to get too wrapped up in the future is to participate in an illusion. You may be shifting rapidly, so planning too far in advance is likely a futile endeavor.
There is phase of healing when we’re onto our own bullshit and determined to quit running our programs, but we don’t actually know what to do instead. ..so awkward 🤦♀️
These “programs” could be anything from people-pleasing, performing, etc (fawn behavior), to addiction, to stirring up drama when we’re feeling bored. The sky is the limit on adaptive human behaviors!
We may think:
“If I let this go who will I be?”
“Oh my gosh, is there anything underneath this??”
“Who am I right now?”
“Do I even have what it takes to do this work?”
Its kind’ve like worrying if the parachute will open right after you just jumped out of a plane 😦
The good news is, although it may be extremely uncomfortable for awhile, we are all capable of learning new skills and showing up to our lives in a more integrated and empowered way.
Thank you neuroplasticity 🧠
Now, to wrap this up: I firmly believe that nothing surfaces until we’re equipped to handle it; so if something has come into your awareness, then congratulations- you’re capable of moving through it (with support if needed of course).
. ..AND call me a conspiracy theorist if you must, but I think we’ve been lied to about our powerful we are.
My own healing journey has forced me to completely restructure my idea of what it means to be a HUMAN, including how resilient, adaptable, and extraordinary we can be.
More to come on this for sure 🙏
Photo: Winston-Salem, NC January 2021
Anatomy of an Awakening 