Betrayal

Good morning. I’m trying to get back into writing regularly after an unintended break.

This short message is coming from me instead of THROUGH me, like most other things I write. ..of course every blog entry is filtered through the lens of my life experiences, perspective, and unique way of being, but when I say they come “through me” I mean the thoughts just flow through me as one message out onto the page or phone screen.

So far, this one is feeling a little choppier, but I press on 😅🤓

Dr. Kelly Brogan said at some point that every external betrayal was first a SELF betrayal, and I’ve yet to think of an exception.

I’ve seen very clearly how I create my own suffering by attempting to get my needs met by people and/or situations that I know on deep down can never meet me on the level I say I want to connect on.

-me

So, to an extent, becoming emotionally involved with them is a form of self-abandonment (trying to escape myself).

If you’ve also noticed this pattern, a question to ask may be: “Do I really and truly want a deep connectionwith someonethat is really present and actually SEEs me?

Isn’t it a lot safer to play in the shallow end? 🤔

Well, yes, actually, lol. ..but to continue to do so ensures that we will never have what we truly want.

So the work is to expand our capacity to be truly seen, because then and only then will we attract a partnerships (romantic and otherwise) that can act as a container for that level of intimacy.

Until we acknowledge and address our fears around receiving love, and the barriers we create to protect us from such a raw and vulnerable experience, we will most likely continue to attract people that cannot show up for us, and are unavailable in some way (their own trauma, busy schedules, geographic distance, substance usage, etc) because the truth is that’s all we can handle.

If you’re interested in exploring this further, check our Kelly’s page where she posted a few days ago about the bodily sensation of disappointment actually being satisfying to her on some level because it’s so familiar. ..fascinating stuff 🙌🍁🍂