This water looks gross, and there ain’t no filter that’s gonna change that.
To continue with the ideas expressed in my last post: This is where we’ll be if we stay in arrangements that we’ve outgrown and are now draining us!
I’m seeing I mostly with women right now, but it can totally apply to men, too. I just don’t have as many in my circle at the moment, so that affects my sample size.
Basically, we’re all realizing we aren’t pulling it off as well as we thought we were.
Our bodies are getting our attention, and we’re tired of gaslighting them or having to disconnect entirely to participate in some of these relationships, jobs, etc.
Here is a list of common questions we often runimate about when experiencing the effects of other people’s harmful behavior:
• Do they know they’re doing it?
• Are they doing it on purpose?
• Is it from trauma?
• Can they heal?
These questions serve to keep us in our head and out of our hearts and bodies, which is very convenient for the people exhibiting the behavior because as long as we’re in our head we aren’t feeling the pain or discomfort of what is happening.
We can literally ask these questions over and over for 30 years and still be experiencing the same dynamic.
Meanwhile, our bodies are acting as shock absorbers for us as we vacate and leave them behind to deal with what we’re participating in.
The problem with the questions is that they’re focused on the other person. This is an indicator we may be out of our lane and may have wandered into codependency land.
No judgment, as I’ve spent most of my life there 🤦♀️
The better questions may be:
- Is this the experience I want?
- Do I feel safe with this person?
- Am I free to have an off day, be unwell, or be out of commission for meeting their needs *without fear
of consequences* ? - What is preventing me from forming relationships where I am actually seen, met, and appreciated.
3rd post coming soon on traits associated with narcissism and the likelihood of seeing true sustainable change.
Anatomy of an Awakening 