Are they a narcissist?

That one time a bird almost flew into my head 😅

Do not ask me how I captured this picture; or how even though the picture itself is a miracle and/or a freak of nature, how I’m still a little disappointed that I didn’t catch the bird’s whole face 😞

Anyway, I’ve missed sharing thoughts on this platform, but I simply haven’t had a lot to say in the past few months.

There’s also the minor detail that I’ve channeled every bit of energy and brainpower into writing my book, which is approximately 60k words at this point 😮

Ironically, as I was finishing the chapter on what the DSM-5 refers to as personality disorders, the topic kept coming up in my external reality as well, so I thought I would share a few thoughts:

Narcissism and codependency are 2 sides of the same coin. Neither person is well-resourced within themselves, and is looking to the other person for help with that.

They are both playing out inner child roles and are self-abandoning in order to maintain the relationship.

Anytime our inner child is running the show, we’re most likely exhibiting narcissistic traits.

It is a huge misconception that people who exhibit narcissistic traits have malicious intent. They are frequently just living their life the only way they know how- and with varying levels of awareness about how their behavior is impacting others.

But here’s the thing: That’s all of us.

We have all been chaotic, draining, and under-resourced. It’s impossible to live life without offending or hurting someone, and to be obsessed with the possibility that we are is actually a way to avoid being present.

“Are they a narcissist?” is the wrong question.

It’s creates a false dichotomy and leads us into a no-win zone.

The better questions may be:

• Is this person willing or able to meet me consistently enough for the relationship to be worth it?
• Do I feel seen, appreciated, and respected?
• Is this someone I can trust with aspects of myself and/or physical resources?
• How do I feel when I’m around them?

Continued in next entry 🙌