Forgiveness

Forgiveness is an energy.

It arises as a natural byproduct of a healing process. It surfaces from within, rarely following a suggestion from the outside.

If we’re in shock or freeze mode (survival), forgiveness is most likely not available to us. The optimal conditions are when we’re able to access a sense of safety in our bodies and nervous systems.

When the body memory has been released, there’s nothing left to forgive.

The energy of forgiveness feels similar to acceptance and allowing.

Acceptance of what occurred, and allowing the other person their reality and level of consciousness, even if how they engaged from that place seemingly caused us harm.

It doesn’t have to condone or approve of what happened and has nothing to do with making excuses for the other party’s behavior. In my experience, it actually has very little to do with “them” at all.

It instead releases the illusion of control and the idea that we even need to occupy a stance in order to keep ourselves safe. It happens when we’re strong enough within ourselves that forgiveness no longer feels like self abandonment.

. ..when we’ve developed enough self-trust that we will naturally not engage with things that hurt, even without the shield of protection that pre-forgiveness states offered us.

It’s not for other people to interject their views into our process, this only serves as an indicator they’re avoiding their own. It’s not blind allegiance to a religious program or codependent appeasement of others.

It’s deeply personal, a felt sense, and rarely adheres to our timeline.

To rush or force it is to bypass the initiatory experience that adversity offers us, and to reject the invitation to step into a more whole and integrated version of ourselves.

If we were to personify the energy of forgiveness, we would see that she is not weak. She is fierce and discerning- offering herself only to those brave enough to embark upon the journey within.