An open letter to anyone that’s experienced a “mental break,” “psychotic episode,” an inpatient psychiatric stay, etc:
Congratulations. You’ve passed through the eye of the needle and come out the other side.
People have structured their entire lives to avoid the very thing you’ve survived.
-me
Whatever you want to call these events, I view them as initiatory experiences- an invitation to be the midwives of our own rebirthing.
The clinical terminology is often shaming when it should be just the opposite. I’d venture to say many clinicians have never experienced an awakening, and may even use their helper/healer work as a way to ensure they don’t.
We’ve been taught to fear our own minds, that we would surely perish if we explore what’s in there, but I’ve found that the opposite is true:
Only by being brave enough to venture into our internal landscape and learn how to navigate what we find there can we actually be free.
I believe there’s a balance between staying isolated and going it alone, and outsourcing our power entirely and acting to numb, suppress, and stifle the whole thing.
. ..because as tempting as the latter option may be, it usually only prolongs the experience and ensures we’ll hang out with it for years to come.
Important questions to consider:
- Is there a way to support my mind and body in what it’s trying to do while still honoring my responsibilities of my life (meaningful relationships, living expenses, etc)?
- What is my window of tolerance?
- Is there a way to safety “lose it,” so that I can actually find it?
- What is my capacity for experiencing periods of groundlessness and disorientation?
- Is what’s leaving worth fighting for, or could there be a more authentic version of me underneath all this that’s wanting to come forth?
- Are all these roles and labels actually ME, or merely all the things I thought I had to be?
- What’s underneath them?
- Is this a breakdown or breakthrough?
These questions are deeply personal and highly individualized. We get to decide how we conceptualize our experiences and how best to navigate them.
Just like in an actual human birth, we choose our birthing team, including set and setting, the information we let in, and who’s allowed in the room!
Growth and transformation is usually uncomfortable because we literally do not know who we’ll be on the other side (we haven’t met them yet because they don’t exist yet- because we’re creating them 😄).
. ..so yes to discomfort, awkwardness, and a little confusion, but navigating it consciously can help prevent retraumatization.
I dream of a world where these transitions are as natural and expected as puberty or menopause and where we have enough knowledge and resources to lovingly and skillfully support each other through them. ..and so it is 🙏🪷✨️
Photo: Santa Rosa Beach July 2023
Anatomy of an Awakening 