By this point most people are familiar with the idea that trauma can be stored in our bodies.
If you follow social media accounts focused on healing, you’ve probably seen videos of people doing somatic exercises like shaking or stretching in specific ways in an attempt to release trauma, or you may have watched as a big group of people at a breathwork event having dramatic releases on their mats- often with a facilitator in flowy clothing placing their hand on or above the person, or just guiding the group with verbal cues.
In addition to these methods, there are also various types of energy work that can help clear stuck emotions like grief, hopelessness, shock, and even rage.
I think all of these practices can certainly have their place in a healing journey, and what better time to learn about them than right in the middle of these seemingly apocalyptic times 😅
But I feel there’s something missing from the conversation that also gets stored in our bodies and energy fields, making us feel lost, depressed, and even hopeless. …
It’s love.
At first glance we may think that holding a lot of love in our bodies is a good thing, right?
Who wouldn’t want to be so full of love that they’re bursting at the seams?
But its the “holding” part that can become problematic.
It’s the love that’s unexpressed, contained, and bottled up, that can create a backlog in the system, and lead to illness just as fast as anger or sadness (in my opinion).
Why would love be held in or unexpressed?
I guess there’s always a chance that it just has nowhere to go, like if someone doesn’t have close relationships, or dedicates all of their time and attention to their career, but for the purposes of this blog entry, I’m thinking about situations with a little more complexity (because these are more fun to write about 🙃).
The following scenarios come to mind:
- Loving someone who is not available. Perhaps they’re with someone else, live very far away, or there is some other barrier to being together. This type of situation may be seen as taboo or highly frowned upon by society for various reasons, but that doesn’t negate the feelings experienced.
- Loving a person who is abusive. Despite the obvious challenges, there is usually still love in there somewhere. I feel this needs to be acknowledged.
- Loving someone who is no longer here. You may still feel their presence and even connect with them regularly in dreams or meditative states, but you’re not able to physically interact with them anymore.
- Loving someone that you cannot share your feelings with. For whatever reason, you just cannot let them know. This is a very unique type of agony that once again, isn’t really acknowledged or validated in most social circles (atleast not formally or openly).
As you read over the list, you may be thinking that the best word to describe these emotional experiences is grief- and you wouldn’t necessarily be wrong.
But I wanted to get a little more specific as a way to honor the complexity of the human experience; also because I really do think the energies feel different in our bodies (grief vrs love), and naming that could be all someone needs to help them feel seen and validated and able to continue on.
To me unexpressed love feels like a dam that’s about to spill over, but grief feels more like a creek bed that is completely dried up, or a lake that has been drained.
Grief is empty and barren, and feels like something has been taken.
What was once there is now gone.
Whereas love feels more like a fullness, maybe even a feeling of too much or an overflow.
Love and grief are very real and valid parts of our human experience; leaving room for both (and everything in between) can help us integrate our experiences, no matter how challenging or complex they may be 🪷
Anatomy of an Awakening 